# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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