I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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