she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
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So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
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I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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