Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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