Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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