New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
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it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
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Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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