please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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