What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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