conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
