also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
