two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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