My hair reeks of homosexuality.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
