we made out on top of his cat.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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