12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
