Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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