Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
