How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
