you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
