Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It's never too late to be topless.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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