Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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