Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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