Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
