I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
