i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
