i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
