honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
