Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
