come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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