my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
