Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
