let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
