Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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