The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
