Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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