she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
a search helicopter?!
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
