I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
