nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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