life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize