I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
