He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
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he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
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Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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