Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize