At least make sure they are 18
Why
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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