I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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