if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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