How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
