I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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