her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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