found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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