But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
