PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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