I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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