You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
