in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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