But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
