He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
