Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Randomize
