I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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