its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
