I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
