Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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