i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Randomize