her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
