You can't motorboat a personality
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
