I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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