well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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